Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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