someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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