don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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