shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize