Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
