The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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