i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
