I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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