My brain says no but my pants say off.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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