It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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