I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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