I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
