first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
