I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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