dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
