I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
