After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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