Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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