Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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