Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We talked him into tasing himself.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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