i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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