i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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