Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
