I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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