Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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