whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
