Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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