guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
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Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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