I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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