he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
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this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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