Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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