That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?