Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...

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(704): Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom... http://tfl.nu/jmqs

Replies (8) Good night (867) Bad night (1461)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting

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(847): I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting http://tfl.nu/4np3

Replies (1) Good night (1032) Bad night (593)
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(970): View more from Colorado

At what point did we cease to have vaginas?

(720): View more from Colorado

Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.

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(970): At what point did we cease to have vaginas? (720): Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year. http://tfl.nu/ox7z

Replies (3) Good night (786) Bad night (1865)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.

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(540): Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring. http://tfl.nu/sgce

Replies (18) Good night (1193) Bad night (3550)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...

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(250): are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning... http://tfl.nu/a14h

Replies (22) Good night (4714) Bad night (869)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.

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(706): Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line. http://tfl.nu/zp2p

Replies (15) Good night (1290) Bad night (4449)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.

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(815): I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe. http://tfl.nu/z3x3

Replies (43) Good night (8126) Bad night (2121)
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(818): View more from California

I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?

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(818): I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal? http://tfl.nu/2gme

Replies (6) Good night (1076) Bad night (807)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that

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(262): Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that http://tfl.nu/fjxw

Replies (9) Good night (732) Bad night (1260)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much

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(309): Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much http://tfl.nu/b8oh

Replies (1) Good night (367) Bad night (756)
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(616): View more from Michigan

i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!

(1-616): View more from Michigan

BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!

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(616): i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!! (1-616): BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!! http://tfl.nu/gsty

Replies (2) Good night (653) Bad night (842)
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(347): View more from New York

She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.

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(347): She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina. http://tfl.nu/bvik

Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (634)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!

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(217): Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome! http://tfl.nu/ig6m

Replies (1) Good night (485) Bad night (355)
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(817): View more from Texas

Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.

(682): View more from Texas

That's completely alright, I do it a lot.

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(817): Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself. (682): That's completely alright, I do it a lot. http://tfl.nu/7is7

Replies (5) Good night (758) Bad night (406)
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(713): View more from Texas

If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"

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(713): If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in" http://tfl.nu/euzu

Replies (8) Good night (627) Bad night (341)

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