...so i touched it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
