Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?