Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Oh.My.God.

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  (405): So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid (1-405): Oh.My.God. http://tfl.nu/b4yo
  Replies (32) Good night (735) Bad night (3819)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.

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  (405): I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat. http://tfl.nu/2u5h
  Replies (17) Good night (2491) Bad night (921)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.

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  (713): She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife. http://tfl.nu/71gc
  Replies (24) Good night (5456) Bad night (664)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.

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  (859): you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it. http://tfl.nu/q4is
  Replies (33) Good night (9452) Bad night (1328)
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  (916): View more from California

  Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?

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  (916): Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party? http://tfl.nu/ft10
  Replies (19) Good night (4348) Bad night (992)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.

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  (404): I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do. http://tfl.nu/0i65
  Replies (13) Good night (6670) Bad night (1062)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.

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  (832): Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face. http://tfl.nu/c54m
  Replies (5) Good night (3003) Bad night (4215)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.

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  (954): I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart. http://tfl.nu/2rds
  Replies (22) Good night (4294) Bad night (1388)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.

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  (419): Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off. http://tfl.nu/9bhr
  Replies (6) Good night (995) Bad night (2757)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"

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  (954): I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!" http://tfl.nu/pxgz
  Replies (9) Good night (2720) Bad night (1219)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  were you high?

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  When?

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  Actually just blanket yes to that question

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  (505): were you high? (1-505): When? (1-505): Actually just blanket yes to that question http://tfl.nu/yc7i
  Replies (2) Good night (2016) Bad night (567)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic

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  (778): the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic http://tfl.nu/wmnz
  Replies (5) Good night (1229) Bad night (661)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me

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  (614): Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me http://tfl.nu/x6xk
  Replies (5) Good night (1002) Bad night (320)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.

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  (906): Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied. http://tfl.nu/iln6
  Replies (4) Good night (535) Bad night (267)
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  (310): View more from California

  I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.

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  (310): I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life. http://tfl.nu/0deg
  Replies (6) Good night (1157) Bad night (308)

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