he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Pants are for mortals