I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
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Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
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last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched