Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.

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  (678): Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box. http://tfl.nu/7k9p
  Replies (12) Good night (879) Bad night (3535)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken

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  (508): The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken http://tfl.nu/dqor
  Replies (17) Good night (1051) Bad night (6016)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.

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  (573): I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn. http://tfl.nu/8enu
  Replies (13) Good night (939) Bad night (4138)
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  (315): View more from New York

  His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.

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  (315): His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians. http://tfl.nu/73dw
  Replies (13) Good night (6346) Bad night (1785)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good

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  (217): just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good http://tfl.nu/mlgi
  Replies (6) Good night (4747) Bad night (1020)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.

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  (224): Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it. http://tfl.nu/voj2
  Replies (6) Good night (2280) Bad night (1024)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.

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  (605): Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever. http://tfl.nu/1cen
  Replies (14) Good night (3614) Bad night (1005)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.

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  (217): I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it. http://tfl.nu/a4xo
  Replies (10) Good night (1115) Bad night (1951)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.

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  (469): Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again. http://tfl.nu/qvag
  Replies (6) Good night (2352) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week

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  (636): A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week http://tfl.nu/594f
  Replies (1) Good night (946) Bad night (498)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read

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  (603): the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read http://tfl.nu/k8on
  Replies (1) Good night (1330) Bad night (540)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.

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  (541): If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience. http://tfl.nu/ojxm
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (368)
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  (516): View more from New York

  So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.

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  (516): So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two. http://tfl.nu/ti8k
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.

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  (360): Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student. http://tfl.nu/vc6z
  Replies (1) Good night (759) Bad night (303)
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  (516): View more from New York

  fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs

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  (516): fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs http://tfl.nu/oioa
  Replies (0) Good night (926) Bad night (275)

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