May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."