Soap is not a condiment
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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