so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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