if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
