My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
