no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
