grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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