I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
