when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
