did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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