hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
