i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
we're so committed to being not committed
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
