i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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