I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
