Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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