Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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