The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
