Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
