My hand turned me down
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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