She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
