I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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