I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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