Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
