So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
